Dealing with Grief and Others' Expectations.

 Dealing with Grief and Others’ Expectations.

 

No matter who or what is lost in our lives, nearly all of us have to deal with grief at some point. One man told me that losing a job was as likely to cause PTSD as losing a child. He had no children. Someone else told me that seeing a counselor would take care of any problems created by grief. Shaking my head and wondering how talking to someone could possibly lead to understanding how the mind and emotions can cause a cessation of the pain of loss. Understanding pain does not alleviate it. And some of the dumbest remarks are made by some folks who don’t know your beliefs or how you feel, much less how to offer any words that can provide comfort. And please don’t tell someone that you know just how they feel. Nope. Can’t be possible. Just tell a grieving person that you would like to offer your condolences: and let that be enough. It’s not like the grieving person will necessarily take offense, but be as kind as possible and don’t assume that their beliefs are the same as yours.

 

Someone who cares about me sent some books about grief and loss a few years ago. They were something that could be read at my discretion. They may have helped in the long run, but knowing that someone cared enough to send them was comforting without their expressions upsetting me. The reason these things matter to me at the moment concerns my neighbor Patty. She is trying not to answer phone calls that she knows will upset her. So, then she calls me and talks a bit. Maybe she is reassured that it is just fine NOT to answer calls that may make her cry or be upset—that is self-defense in my estimation. The little things matter at this point. Telling her about USPS informed delivery made her happy. She gave me a key to her post box, but she had no idea what number the box was. Donny always got the mail. And this morning her car got inspected where mine usually goes. That is one more thing she had on her mind that was an easy fix. Then she just wanted me to sit and visit with her a bit and let her talk. Again, an easy fix. She let the dogs out when she heard them barking at me. Roxie wanted to be petted so badly. Rudy is HER dog. Roxie belonged to Donny. Even petting a dog and letting the little furball know she is loved is so easy to do. Today was just one of the times that God gave me an opportunity to return the love that has been given to me. That is about all we can do for anyone in this life.

 

Thank you, friends, for reading and listening and sometimes responding. May you rest and be happy. You are loved.