Thursday, July 31, 2008

Worth It?

The neighbor's daughter came "home" recently to her mother. I made so bold as to ask if she was being abused or if the man was fooling around, drinking, drugging, or otherwise behaving like an idiot. No, he was working full time and providing for his family. His two little ones were well cared for and loved. But the daughter was young and had never had time to "just be me."

Oh drat! Did I miss that stage of life somewhere? Was there ever a time when I wasn't me?

Two children later is a little bit late to be dissatisfied with being a mother. Now, I will admit to wondering about my sanity when our children were teenagers. They seemed to question it quite a bit, too. Hmmm.

Honestly, when did people stop taking any personal responsibility for their lives and for the lives of the little ones that they bring into this old world? Who started the rumor that we had to be deliriously happy to be able to stay married.

My parents celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary today. That is commitment--perseverance, stubbornness, or something pretty awesome. Our 40 years is pretty unusual today when most people just prefer to live together. Good grief! No license, no responsibility? I don't think so! Anytime children are involved, we have to make their lives worth the effort to make a family. Real life takes responsibility. The shake and bake world of movie stars, rock idols, and other sparkling little twits is not real life. Real life requires self-sacrifice and outgoing concern, not self-centered pouting and conceit. If our lives and the lives of this next generation are to have value, we must make life together worth it for the entire family.

One of these days our grandchildren will be looking for the right ones to marry. I hope that they learn that it IS worth working for to have a good marriage--and that they learn that lesson BEFORE they have children.

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