I have decided that I have entered the time of life when everything and everyone is changing faster than my mind is going to accept. This entire year has been pretty strange in my book. Of course, the biggest change came with Fang's death, but this Monday Daddy died and we buried him yesterday. He was 85--would have been 86 on November 24. He led a long and relatively happy life. The last several years were a bit difficult because he had lost his hearing. He could still see a snake across the river last fall when Lewis and I went to the river with him. But now he and Lewis can look for snakes, squirrels, and anything else that they want to see in God's kingdom. And neither one of them will have pain and can see and hear clearly.
My mother seems not to be sure she knows me, but she is nearly always pleasant when she speaks to anyone, so I get the same treatment. Dementia or whatever it is called that takes away our memories has both good and bad aspects. In Mom's case, she seems not to be suffering from the loss of her husband. They were married for 68 years, so she will still know that she was married if she even has two brain cells that still function together. Some things are pretty hard to lose.
In the store a bit ago I saw someone who looked too familiar to NOT know. It turned out to be Lewis' cousin and his wife. It seems their son-in-law had had a heart attack and had been transferred to the hospital here in Wichita Falls. I told them that Lewis' sister was up there with her husband Lehnis. He had quadruple bypass surgery and was still in the hospital. It is amazing what medical science can do for us. Even so, our lives change as we age and those changes become more drastic with each passing year. Accepting the changes can be a very real challenge.
Yesterday our oldest son Lance and his family spent the afternoon visiting with me. It was so nice to have them here even for just the afternoon. Our daughter Jennifer had spent six days with me while we were waiting for Daddy to die, but those days were semi-stressful. As much as I enjoy having Jennifer around, it seems that we always spend our time together having to take care of situations instead of just enjoying being together. Of course, my children may get to the point that they feel the same way when they come see me. Last time Lance was here, he helped put a new roof on the workshed. Maybe next time won't be quite as busy or full of work--unless it is fun work.
As I age, I see that my children are taking on the responsibilities that I took on with my own parents. I never minded taking care of my parents, but sometimes it was all I could do to keep up with their needs and take care of my own household. I never want to cause my children stress, but it is wonderful to know that they care as much about me as they do. I guess it is just the time in our lives that changes as we age. And now I see that the grandchildren are just as sweet and loving as the children. Some things never change, and love is one of them.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
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