Commercials

Fang listens to old “Perry Mason” movies on his headphones while we are here in the office together.  I really appreciate his consideration in using the headphones because, even though I enjoyed Perry Mason in its day, I can’t concentrate on what I am doing with the movie in full volume.  However, the commercials that run on the computer along with the show come on loud enough that I have difficulty ignoring them.  And boy do they ever need to be ignored!

 

When the Super Bowl comes around each year, I wait for the commercials.  That is the best part of the weekend.  Usually Budweiser or one of the main sponsors has some nice ones.  I still think about herding cats across the hills even though I can’t remember what the commercial originally sponsored.  And then there’s that little lizard and the silly duck!  Oh boy!  Those are worth watching for the humor.

 

It has long been my contention that the people who design commercials should be designing our educational system as well.  Half of today’s education is simply rote memorization.  I made a song out of the multiplication tables when I was a kid and think of them and the alphabet in about the same way—necessary evils to getting things accomplished.  But someone with a real sense of adventure began a show that included some little ditty called ‘conjunction junction, what’s your function.’  My students used to sing it in class and laugh about it.  All I can say is that if it helped them remember how to use their language easily, it was great!

 

Most commercials, however, just irritate the wham out of me.  One that shows on the computer along with the excessive volume has some old girl jumping up and down saying “Who’s your mama?”--or some member of the family.  It is supposed to be advertising basketball or something of that nature, but I guarantee that I would not wear even a “give me” t-shirt for anything that uses such repulsive advertising.  Bleah!  Another one has some guy acting like a complete idiot in an airport.  That is the kind of commercial that simply does not “fly.”

 

I suppose it is just as easy to forget the product being featured on a good commercial as it is one that is irritating [cat herding, for instance], but why a company would accept irritating commercials in an attempt to sell their products is beyond my understanding.  Inform, invite, intrigue would be my suggestion for the basis of good commercials.  But don’t yell at us or portray men or women as complete idiots!  The baby doing an e-trade is MUCH better than that bunch of idiots gathered around the cubicle making fun of someone who is talking about some sweet 16 or something.  Who cares?  The kid is cute.  The cubicle crowd is pathetic.

 

Obviously I don’t plan to advertise anything in the near future.  If I were to advertise anything, I would use Harley B to exhibit excitement.  He does the Boston Terrier routine of excitement perfectly even if he does weigh in at 90 pounds and stand as tall as a Labrador.  For calm and cool collections, I would use OliverTwisted and a picture of his claws.  He knows how to use them.  Yes, maybe no one would pay to get my advertising skills, but at least the ideas wouldn’t irritate the whim wham out of anyone—unless, of course, the person didn’t care for dogs or cats.  And everyone knows what we think of those who don’t love dogs and cats…..